So you finally did it. You got everyone to sit at the kitchen table together and enjoy a meal, despite the busy schedules. Even though there was a lot of complaining.
Now what? In some cases, it starts with one person picking up their phone. To read a text message real quick. And then, you realize that you should see if that email came in from the PTA. Suddenly, everyone at the table has their eyes on their own screens and the whole point of having a meal together evaporates in an instant.
Table topic questions come into play when you want that connection, but you don’t want to force a conversation. You know, when you ask “how was your day” and you get the inevitable “fine” that shuts down the conversation in just a few seconds.
The good news with table topics questions is that they don’t have to be complicated. It doesn’t have to take much thought or require an out-of-the-box question that makes you feel weird asking it. It doesn’t have to feel awkward. They just give you a guide to get the conversation going, so the phones stay off and you can finally get that family connection.
Best, Surprise, Could Be Better
My four-year-old loves this one! Sometimes we do it over lunch, and again as we get ready for bed. It starts by asking what the best part of your day was. Then, what surprised you. Lastly, what could be better.
It’s fascinating to see what comes up! Sometimes we get stuck on question one because we end up talking about so many different things based on the response. It’s a fun way to get a perspective of the day and think about it in a way that isn’t your standard “how was it.”
Talking Pets
If you have a pet, asking questions about them can be a good way to start the conversation. Hypothetical questions like, what do you think the dog dreamed about today or even what the dog would say if he could speak. These are such a fun way to add a little bit of creativity to the conversation while making sure that your furry friends are included, too.
Superheroes
Depending on the age of your kids, superheroes are definitely the best ever. It’s fun to ask what superhero they would see you (or anyone else in the family) being. The questions don’t have to stop there – it could go on to ask which superhero they were today and why.
There’s also the path of talking about super powers! And what super power they’d want to have (maybe the one where they eat all of their broccoli on their plate and like it…).
Beyond superheroes, finding a way to get their hobbies or favorite characters in the conversation are good way to make table topics questions relevant.
Lunchtime Favorites
Long ago, I read on Instagram that asking your kids what they had for lunch was a good way to get them to open up. It’s a basic question that gives them a chance to answer what they know, without feeling the pressure to answer how their day was.
And often times, it opens up the conversation to talk about what else may have happened at lunch – or before or after lunch.
Would You Rather…
No matter the age, “would you rather” never gets old. It’s a fun way to see everyone’s imagination at work and ask some funny questions that are sure to bring some laughs and keep people talking!
One of my favorite “would you rather” questions:
Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?
I have no idea where this one came from, but it’s even a good one if only adults are sitting at your table.
In the End: It’s About the Connection
When it comes to the family dinner and finding a connection, it may feel awkward at first. Maybe nobody answers the questions (because they feel weird, and they are used to the whole “how was your day” schtick). But over time, they will start to feel like a classic family tradition. And one day, your kids will ask why you didn’t ask the silly superhero question.
Because, at the end of the day, when it comes to the dinner table – that’s where connection happens. It may not happen every day and it may not be perfect, but memories are made at the kitchen table. And sometimes, it takes going outside of what’s standard to make it memorable.
Next time you’re all sitting down for a meal, give it a try. And let us know which one was the best one for your family!
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