It feels like as we get close to any holiday in our world, pulling up Instagram or your other favorite social media platform brings up post after post of perfectly curated desserts, meals, decorations, activities, and whatever else. And if you’re a mom that’s just trying to get through the day of managing the mental load and everything in between, that can easily bring on the mom guilt.
How Did We Get Here?
Moms spend more time with their kids today than moms did in the 1960s. That’s even as moms have taken on full-time work outside of the house, and still manage most of the household chores compared to their male partners.
Knowing that moms are spending more time with their kids, it would feel like that’s enough. But something shifted in our societal norms to make it feel like that isn’t enough.
Most moms – as many as 70% – compare themselves to the mominfluencers on social media, which brings on the mom guilt. Scrolling through your feeds to see the perfect day someone had with their kids, or even the perfect dinner they had ready at the end of the day, can immediately make you feel like you’re not doing enough.
Research shows that these portrayals of a perfect motherhood can bring on negative feelings, from anxiety to shame to guilt.
I also think that the trend to overshare makes the tendency to compare yourself to another mom more prevalent than it was before. Back in the 1960s, they had their phone parties and maybe the town gossip. But now, as a mom, you can compare yourself to another mother halfway around the world to see if you measure up. It adds pressure and stress, and can even steal a bit of our joy as moms.
How to Let Go of Mom Guilt
Step 1: Go to your phone. Step 2: Delete all of your social media apps.
There, mom guilt gone!
If only it were that easy. Mom guilt exists for more reasons than social media. I don’t think anyone would argue that our lives feel busier than they ever have – and as we straddle the demands from our working lives, social worlds, and our families; it starts to feel like we can’t do anything well.
Which, how can you? When you’re stretched in so many directions, it starts to feel a bit impossible.
Finding how to let the mom guilt go starts with focusing on what makes you feel that way. Is it really from scrolling social media and seeing that mom from across the country who has the perfectly curated dinner table? Or is it because you feel so stressed to get everything done that you can’t focus on enjoying your time with your kids?
Every mom finds that something else brings on the guilt. Honestly, the guilt may come from different areas of your life depending on what feels like its falling down in that moment.
But, whatever it may be; at its core, we believe that it comes down to dropping this idealization that things need to be perfect and then it will be great for our kids and our loved ones. It comes down to realizing that sometimes, things just need to be just as they are – and that’s enough.
The Art of Connection vs. Perfection
It may be a millennial thing, but perfection seems to be how we operate. Always striving to see how we can make something better. I mean, we all survived our Sims obsession mostly unscathed… right?
Letting go of the perfection comes into play when you’re trying to minimize the mom guilt. Knowing that you can’t get it all done, nor can you get it all done at your absolute best, can help you realize that sometimes – it’s just good enough.
My sister and I started Weekly Table because we were tired of the stress of “what’s for dinner” each and every day – and how we realized that dinner is a lot more than just putting food on the table. It feels like putting a piece of our soul on an offering plate, to see if it’s satisfactory for the people we love most. And when we hear the complaints about whatever may be wrong with it, it cuts into our very being.
Of course, our families don’t mean that. They just want to eat what they want to eat! But we realized that the stress of figuring it all out, and preparing it all, and being on the hook for even more food decisions… it was too much.
That’s why we built Weekly Table – to create a tool that could handle it all for us, so that we could focus on what matters most: connection.
Instead of spending three hours on a Sunday (#saveyoursunday) to build a meal plan, followed by a grocery list that might still be legible by time you get to the grocery store, Weekly Table has it handled. Not sure what to cook? Browse the library of recipes. Add it, and let the tool build your meal plan and grocery list. It’s handled.
By not having the stress around what’s for dinner, it frees up more time to just be. At the end of the work day, our brains are exhausted and the idea of making one more decision (especially one that has a high chance of bringing on complaints)… no thanks.
Now, if only we were able to build a tool to wash, fold, and put away the laundry for us…
Ready to knock one thing off your mental to do list? Let Weekly Table handle the food logistics and end the stress of what’s for dinner. Start your free trial today.
