It starts with thinking about something easy that I need to get done, like flipping the clothes from the washer to the dryer. And suddenly, my mind is running faster than a stock ticker with the list of household chores that I need to get one. Moving through my day, the list seems to grow.
Thinking back, I’m not sure when this running list started. I don’t remember a time in my adult life where it wasn’t there, the constant ticker of what needs to get done and by when.
Today, we call this the mental load. The invisible labor of running a household, where your brain manages the to do list and remembers to do all the things – from scheduling the doctors appointment to mentally adding things to the grocery list while you cook.
Why is the Mental Load Exhausting Us?
From grocery shopping and meal planning to cleaning and laundry schedules, women are frequently taking on more of the mental load in households. This cognitive and logistical planning is exhausting – almost more tiring than the actual work itself.
The mental load requires executive function. Compared to an air traffic control system, it refers to the skills that are used to manage everyday tasks. Air traffic controllers are held to strict requirements for the length of their work days, as well as breaks in between, which only makes sense.
But, when you think about the executive function of a brain that is taking on the mental load: it never gets a break. This constant mental effort drains the brain’s chemical and physical energy. Whether it’s planning out dinner or remembering where your kid stuck his baseball glove, finding this information requires energy. Often times, the mental load goes deeper than just the final decision.
It requires anticipation that a need may be there (we are going to come home from the soccer game and everyone is going to be hungry). It takes identification of what needs to happen (dinner needs to be ready as soon as possible to make sure we aren’t hangry). Deciding also takes energy (we either need to stop and pick something up, have leftovers, or make something fast). And finally, execution – the part that everyone sees – also takes energy.
More commonly, the mental load has commonly been named the invisible labor of the household. This is often the most accurate depiction of what it is, because your brain never gets a rest even if you have a partner who executes the decision that you’ve anticipated, identified, and weighed.
The True Toll of the Mental Load
There’s a meme that frequently circulates on social media that shows a mom in the home, saying that her first job is from 9 a.m. – 5 p.m., and her second is from 5 p.m. – 8 p.m.
For many women, this hits home. Over the last several decades, women have entered the workforce at a record rate – peaking at about 60% of women in the working world in 1999.
But, while this has become the norm – a woman working outside of the home – the work it takes to run a household and raise children still rests on their shoulders. And, it’s the job that you can’t clock out of – often requiring women to work while managing household duties.
Today, nearly 70% of women are the sole managers of family meal planning and grocery logistics. While they are being asked “what’s for dinner” from their families, they are working to make sure that they have options ready, depending on what the night may look like. And if they don’t have the right ingredients for those options, they are troubleshooting what they could make instead.
By time 5 p.m. hits and it’s time for women to get dinner on the table, their executive function is toast. There’s nothing left after making hundreds of little decisions throughout the day. And so, the idea that they have to make one more and figure out what’s for dinner – it’s just too much at the end of the day.
The Systems That Transform the Mental Load
Nobody’s brain can manage everything that’s required when you carry the mental load. With each thing that you cross off the to do list, there are numerous steps prior to that. The overwhelming feeling that you can’t do it all? Yeah, that’s not just you.
To take your power back and win the mental load battle, it starts with getting the right systems in place to help you. Just like our lives are all different; so are the systems that help us manage the challenge of the mental load.
For my sister and me, we created Weekly Table to take the mental load of meal planning, grocery shopping, and “what’s for dinner” out of our brains and into a system that works for us. The tool was designed to meet the needs of today’s families – and for the mom that doesn’t want the exhaustion and overwhelm of the mental load to take time away from her family.
Weekly Table makes it easy to add your favorite recipes and generate a meal plan in one click. With the option to modify and change to meet your life for that week, you can then generate a grocery list. And, the grocery list automatically organizes your list to match the layout of the store – no more backtracking!
Systems like Weekly Table mean that the mental load doesn’t have to be carried in your brain. The anticipation and identification of what’s needed can live in a tool that then carries that, meaning that you can focus on executing the plan.
Managing a household, especially in the world that we live in today, will continue to shift and change. But one thing’s true: all we really want is more time to connect with those that we love. And finding the tools and resources that can help take the mental load out of our brains and into a system can be the most valuable thing of all.
Ready to shift the mental load to Weekly Table? It’s ready and waiting. Start your free trial today.
